Author Archives: James

Vacations Are Hard

The Germans love their summer vacations, and it’s a big topic of conversation in Alissa’s office. But as Americans, we haven’t mastered this part of the culture yet. American vacations often take place within the country; New York City, Vegas, the Grand Canyon. We’re used to hearing about these kinds of vacations, and we respond with “oh, that sounds like fun!”

To American ears, German vacations sound much more extravagant.

German Guy: “Where will you vacation this summer?”

German Girl: “My husband and I are taking the kids to some small islands off the coast of France.”

German Guy: “Oh, that sounds like fun!”

American: “You’re going to France?! That’s a whole other country! With ISLANDS! How cool are French ISLANDS?? You’re going to hang out on exotic islands off the coast of France! THAT’S GOING TO BE THE BEST FEW DAYS OF YOUR LIFE!”

German Girl: “Well, since I can only afford to take half of my vacation days, we will only be there for a little over three weeks.”

American: “YOU’RE LEAVING TO GO LIVE ON SMALL PARADISE ISLANDS OFF THE COAST OF FRANCE!!

German Girl: “Well, what about you?”

American: “I was going to take two days off to stay home and eat bread and butter. Maybe catch up on some email.

American: “What’s wrong?”

Wichtel Hausbrauerei

Several days ago, a friend emailed a blurry photo of a sticker on the back of a white van.

Wichtel on a Van

Spy Photo Evidence

That photo was taken with a cell phone through the window of his car, and in tiny letters under the logo, you can barely make out “hausbrauerei” (brew house). Naturally, he became my hero.

Using various hacker tools (“google”), I figured out where they were located. So Alissa and I took a 7 minute train ride out to Feuerbach to visit. The place was really big, with tons of outside seating. The inside was decorated with hop plants and bags labeled “Wichtel Malt” and neat old-style bottles. They had these cool cooper kettles mounted inside, but I don’t think they’re in use.

Handsome Copper Kettles

Handsome copper kettles, with casually thrown grain bags sitting around.

We only tried their two regular beers; the pils and the dark weisen. The pils was pretty good. The first sip was all “woah, this is delicious”. The 300th sip was all “hey, you’ve been drinking that for a while, maybe switch to something else”?

So I switched to the dark weisen. I’m a little conflicted about what to write. On one hand, it was very weird-tasting. A lot of dark weisen beers taste burnt (in a not-especially-good way), and this beer was no different. But it wasn’t simply a pure burnt flavor. It was almost like they also burnt the hops, just to introduce something different. A secrete sauce, if you will.

On the other hand, I would like to congratulate them on creating a beer that isn’t like all the other beers around here. It was worth a 0.3 liter serving (0.634013 US pints) to experience something new. Next time we go, I hope to try the seasonal beer.

Downstairs, you can see the actual brewing area. Looks less like good ol’ fashioned brewing, and more like professional German engineering.

Wichtel Brewing Room

Located right across from the bathrooms, for all your joking pleasure. Just kidding. This isn’t Bud Light.

A major part of the food they serve is “Wichtelkuchen”, which I believe is a play on the word for “german-style-pizza-but-not-really”. Anyway, it’s similar to a NY thin crust, but without tomato sauce. Mine had sauerkraut on it, because I chose the option representing the most German of German-ness. Pretty delicious.

By the way, we’ve been here for four months now!

Second Hand

Second Hand

Ha ha ha ha!

Edit: She kinda creeps me out. Large photo for full effect.

Purple Sauerkraut: Batch 4!

The newest batch of sauerkraut is purple! I’ve made purple sauerkraut before. It turned out purple. Purple sauerkraut is a little unsettling, because it’s purple. Sauerkraut should be white. But I made it anyway, because I like excitement in my life.

Sauerkraut Batch 4: Purple

Batch 3 was a failure. I used “savory” cabbage, which I’ve never tried before. When I finished making it, I realized that my knuckles were swollen. I let it sit for a long time before I harvested, because I was nervous. A few days ago, I scratched my wrists and rubbed the sauerkraut juice in it, but I didn’t have a reaction. So I’m not sure why my knuckles were so messed up.

Batch 3 wasn’t very good though. The leaves were super wrinkled, which made it physically difficult to pack down properly. The result was semi-soft with no redeeming qualities. Maybe I’ll try again later. When you have a sauerkraut addiction, it’s tough to dedicate a full week to an experiment that might leave you without your fix.

Second Floor Pour

They’re pouring the concrete for the second floor!

Second Floor Construction

Concrete pouring!

They actually finished one section today. It looks nice. As a professional concrete-pouring-consultant, I say they did a good job. I THINK they made a mistake earlier, however. There’s a section of wall that was poured a few days ago, and as soon as they built up the yellow floor, they seemed to realize their mistake. They spent yesterday jack-hammering the section down, and re-laying the rebar. Nobody’s perfect.

Ulmer Münster Hirsch Bier Urhell

Ulmer Münster Hirsch Bier Urhell

They look delicious.

The beer was pretty okay. I’d buy it again, but it probably isn’t as special as those berries beside it.

I found them while we were walking around yesterday evening. Alissa made it clear that I should not be eating wild berries, but what does she know? She’s never even tried to eat wild berries. They could be amazing!

I looked them up when I got home. Here’s a picture I took of the bush that they came on.

Delicious, delicious unknown berries

I think they’re Elderberries but we’ll never know for sure. Alissa made me promise I wouldn’t eat them. Unless I call my mom and ask first. But I can’t call my mom, because I’m afraid she won’t understand how amazing these berries might be. Moms are never good about that.

Dad? We have to convince Alissa quickly, because the bushes outside are teeming with them! The season is going to be over soon! Think of all the jam I could be making right now!

Alpirsbacher Klosterbräu Kloster Zwickel

Alpirsbacher Klosterbräu Kloster Zwickel

Alpirsbacher Klosterbräu Kloster Zwickel

Not bad! Not amazing but I’d drink it again.

Side note: we almost went to the Alpirsbacher brewery a few days ago, but didn’t because we are getting old and just can’t party like we used to. You’re probably reading this right now (Thomas) and denying it, but it’s true. We’re too old for such shenanigans. We prefer the comfort of home.

I’ll grant you that our home is bereft of furniture and other things that old people tend to have, but that doesn’t matter. We like sitting on our hardwood floors.

The Black Forest Has A Go-cart Train

We took a trip out to the Black Forest with some friends from New York, and we visited a few interesting places. The first was a waterfall near the ruins of an old monastery.

Klosterhof Allerheiligen

Old monasteries are really cool.

Side note: I fit into the coffin perfectly.

Perfect Fit

Perfect fit.

From the monastery, we followed a hiking trail down around a long waterfall. My pictures came out poorly, but the falls were pretty neat. It took about 20 minutes to walk to the bottom.

Along the trail, a plaque mounted to a rock translates to this:

Brother Pauli was a convent chaplain, who did not take his vows so seriously. He melted his silver crucifixes for bullets, which he then used for poaching. Before God’s judgment, he was sentenced to the grounds of the Monastery of All Saints, as a ghost walking around restlessly. Many times he played nasty tricks on coachmen and emptied the baskets of blueberry pickers.

We successfully avoided the antics of Brother Pauli.

When we returned, we went to the nearby restaurant, and I ordered the most German of German meals you can buy: meat on meat loaf with some leberwurst, bread and butter, egg, and some vegetables there for show. And a good southern pils to wash it down.

Meat Plate

I ate more than half of this delicious meal. Then I was stuffed.

Alissa ordered Käsespätzle, which I think can be best described as an “epic macaroni and cheese”. The problem with the use of the word “epic” is that the style can vary from place to place. There’s a restaurant near us that serves traditional German cuisine, and their Käsespätzle is absolutely fantastic. We’ve been there 3 times, she always orders the Käsespätzle, and I always try something else. I am always mildly disappointed, and end up eating off her plate. But not this time. This time, mine was amazing.

See that thick piece of semi-raw-looking bacon? We’ve purchased that before, from the grocery stores near us. But we never knew how to eat it. It’s a bit awkward, right? What would you do with a gigantic hunk of semi-raw bacon? Cook it? How would you slice it? You can’t just fry the whole thing, because then it’d be a gigantic hunk of bacon that’s burnt on the outside. And it’s just thin enough that it’s really too hard to slice into regular bacon (or lunch-meat style slices). I ended up slicing it into little annoying pieces, and frying them. Then I realized that the top and bottom parts are really too tough to chew. It was disappointing.

Anyway, today was the day I learned how to eat it. You simply slice super-thin pieces from the side, and eat them. They melt in your mouth. I spent the second half of our meal just slicing off thin pieces. Absolutely delicious.

Then we went to the Rodelbahn in Gutach. This is an invention that should be in the United States. If we don’t have these, someone needs to get on it. Here’s the basic idea: put a little plastic car onto train tracks, and give the rider a brake handle in case they’re going fast enough to die.

Rodelbahn Gutach

You can go very fast.

Seriously, these were awesome. The first time we rode, Alissa rode with me (there’s a seat in the front). Then we went by ourselves. We could have spent hours riding that thing. This was the view on the way up the tracks:

Rodelbahn Gutach View

It was a pretty great day.

Old People Ride Bikes In Groups

Helmets on the Train

Just to be safe.

I should preface this by saying we’re still new to Germany, and we are therefore not completely knowledgable about the people or the culture.

But it appears that weekend mid-mornings are the time when massive amounts of older people dress up in bike clothes, and bring their bikes on the train. They come in groups of 2 or 4, and they always wear their helmets. Even while they’re sitting on the train. The bikes themselves are not always “old people bikes”. Some look like they cost a lot, and do not appear to be comfortable at all. These people are hardcore.

I’m not sure where the young people are at this time. Asleep? Do the young people come out to ride bikes in the evenings? It’s a good thing Alissa doesn’t have a bike yet, because we’d probably accidentally go riding Saturday morning, and be all out of place.

Ah, you can see the people in the background are not wearing their helmet on the train. I stand corrected.

We’re Back Again

The story of our Internet problems has become boring and annoying. So instead of a long description of the phone calls and modem tests and the smelly technician who finally got the line fixed, but who prompted me to open all the windows and doors after he left… just know that we’re back again.

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