Author Archives: James

Alissa Inspects Support Wedges

Have you ever wondered how the Maibaum is supported? I bet you have!

Maibaum Supports

Alissa poses with wooden wedges

We can’t tell if this is an official place for the maibaum to be mounted, or if they stuck it in a sewer opening, and then pounded some shims into the hole to make it fit. We’ll probably never know.

By the way, based on our initial observations, Degerloch has the best maibaum by far. Much bigger and more awesome in every category. The categories are: size, quality of the tree at the top, trinkets hanging from the side. We win at all of them.

White People Parties

Alissa’s company reserved tables at a Frülingsfest beer tent last night. We debated going,  but ended up deciding it would be important to make an appearance. We’d be home by 9:30.

For those of you that don’t know (or can’t tell from the photo I posted earlier), these beer tents are one giant, silly party. Several of Alissa’s coworkers explained the event to me. “Ahhh, it’s just a stupid thing! The songs make no sense, it’s just… yeah. It’s silly. But it’s so fun!” Everyone stands on the seats and dances around as much as possible within the constraints required from standing on a rickety wooden bench. This is perfect for people who can’t dance. My theory is that this is primarily the reason these festivals are so popular. Some things are just not possible:

  • move your feet outside a 2 foot width
  • show off your dancing skills for longer than 3 to 5 seconds
  • engage in small talk

This is perfect for awkward people! I analyzed my dancing style several times throughout the night, and came to the conclusion that I was doing a better job than most of the people around me. This is highly unusual. Normally, bending your knees 12 degrees, repeatedly, is not sufficient. At Frülingsfest, simply combine knee-bending, hand-waving or clapping, and the occasional beer sip, and you’re good to go!

And you have to sing. Singing is required because absolutely everyone does it. Everyone screams at the top of their lungs. Those that can’t hold a tune are drowned out by everyone that can. Americans don’t have to know they lyrics to anything. They can just blab.

“Oder bund der aaaaaaaannnn yeah! eeeeye suu doooof!!” I sang. “Das bakieoooooni! spaaaagheeeeeetti!”

But there are a surprising number of songs sung in English. Oldies are popular. So is classic rock. Sometimes they are modified in strange ways; for example, Aretha Franklin’s Respect had several refrains of “la la la” inserted. Whatever is fun to sing, is sung.

Broken Bench

A new bench is bolted to the floor

The other fun thing to do at these events is to make sure you dance carefully as to not break the benches. Ha ha! Just kidding! Nobody seems to recognize the danger. Large German guys will jump up and down right beside you, ignoring the 4 inch deflection the poorly reinforced benches give under the load. Luckily, they don’t ever break.

Ha ha ha! Just kidding again. The crack, as the bench beside us broke, sounded like someone was going to die. This must happen every now and then, because they brought a spare bench and had it replaced in about three minutes. Everyone okay? Good! EVERYONE START JUMPING AGAIN!

The night ended after we were too tired to keep standing up.

Rothaus Märzen Export (Eiszäpfle)

Rothaus Märzen Export (Eiszäpfle)

Rothaus Märzen Export (Eiszäpfle)

I bought a 6-pack of this a few days ago because I couldn’t buy single bottles. I was pretty nervous about the inclusion of “eis” on the label; anytime a beer says “ice” in the States, it means the beer is so awful that it requires cooling to just above freezing temperature to be made drinkable.

I drank this warm.

It. Was. Delicious. Seriously, this is the first beer I really liked more than the original Rothaus Pils. It’s still German; fairly weak flavor and colored like pee. But it was really good.

I do have a question for all you Germans out there: why are beers labeled “export”? We’ve run into a few of them that are called “export”, and I can’t figure out why. They’re not exported. And the translation of “export” is “export”. So I’m unclear what is going on here. Please comment below!

So I’m pretty in favor of this Rothaus brewery. I think I’ve made a friend.

Mystery Delightful Orange Tomato Thing

I don’t remember exactly when we were introduced to this, but I think it was part of a breakfast that included yogurt and granola. Alissa poked at it, and the person who owned the breakfast politely asked her to stop.

Physalis Intact

Physalis in it's shell

Ha ha! No, that’s not what happened. Instead, he asked her if she wanted to try one. The restaurant brought us another, and we both had a bite. Delicious.

The name of this fruit is unclear, but you can buy them in the store under the name Physalis. If you search for them online, you get names like Blasenkirschen (which translates to jujube), cape goosberry or Physalis peruviana, and Aztec berry. Whatever the name, they’re everywhere. I think they’d make a great pie, but it was pointed out that they’re pretty expensive for that. They’re served with ice cream (as the cherry on top!) and in yogurt. Pretty much anywhere a cherry would be served. Anywhere a small, sweet, interesting fruit might be appreciated.

Physalis Opened Up

Peal back the paper-like leaf covers

They cost a couple Euro per box of twelve. Or something like that.

The flavor is hard to describe. Kinda orange-y, with a texture like a tomato. We pealed and ate a whole pack last night, and I wish I had a few to eat as I’m writing this. There are some more culinary adjectives that should go here.

Physalis Bitten

The inside is like a cherry tomato

When we get rich, I’m gonna make a pie. Awwww, what would happen if you mixed these with sour cherries?! That would be the best pie in the whole world!

Maybe I should get a job.

Jever Pilsener

Jever Pilsener

Jever Pilsener

There are two kinds of pilseners.

  1. Those pilseners that taste good
  2. Those pilseners that taste kinda weird

This one was kinda weird. I’ve run into this before, and I’m not sure what to say about it. It resembles a kind of nuanced skunkiness. We drank a bunch of pilseners in Prague last year, and the majority of them were weird too. Maybe they use a strange yeast or something.

I think I need to get more of this, to try to nail down the flavor. I drank it warm, which was recommended to me by someone who likes this beer. You know who you are. Maybe I should try it lightly chilled. And maybe the skunkiness was just the bottle I had. I dunno.

Further updates as more Jever becomes available.

Schwaben Bräu Das Schwarze

Schwaben Brau Das Schwarze

Schwaben Brau Das Schwarze

Another dark beer! This one was also decent. Not much to say.

Losing Our English

We’ve heard that the longer you stay in a foreign country, the more you start to loose your native language. It sounds awful but we know it won’t happen to us. Our foreign friends are all silly!

As we were deciding where to explore this weekend, Alissa said, “Let’s make a trip to -” and froze.

Make a trip?

We’re losing it already! EVERYBODY BACK TO THE USA!

I guess we could go to the UK, but we don’t want to be caught saying “crisps” instead of “chips”, the way God intended.

Fürst Wallerstein Landsknecht-Bier

Fürst Wallerstein Landsknecht-Bier

Fürst Wallerstein Landsknecht-Bier

This one was not like the others.  I always get excited when I pour a dunkel, especially if I don’t realize it’s a dark beer before I open it. “Wow, this is dark! This one will be different!” I say. But it’s never all that different. It had more toasted flavor, but it wasn’t very strong.

 

Lösch-Zwerg Würzige

Lösch-Zwerg Würzige

Lösch-Zwerg Würzige

Pretty okay.

The cool thing about this bottle was the cap.

Lösch-Zwerg Würzige bottle cap

The bottlecap has a pull ring!

It worked great! I wonder what the failure rate on these things are during shipping.

 

Beer Throwdown: Warsteiner vs Krombacher

Warfteiner and Krombacher Pils

Warfteiner and Krombacher bottles used for this comparison

There’s a shindig up in Northern Germany called Kieler Woche, where a bunch of people go sailing. But more importantly, there are food booths set up by restaurants and locals. My brother and his friend, we’ll call them “Gumball” and “Care Bear”, set up a booth last year to sell hamburgers, and it worked out pretty well. They’re doing it again this year, but with beer!

They’re prepared to sell beers in bottles from Brooklyn Brewery, but they’re also selling beer from a keg. They have two options; Warsteiner or Krombacher. Which one should they go with? Naturally, they turned to an expert for tasting notes.

Warsteiner

Warsteiner had a larger store presence. I’ve seen this stuff all over Degerloch. It pours a very light, almond yellow, into a 0,25 liter glass. The markings on the glass are from the Stuttgarter Weindorf 2001. That shouldn’t matter.

  • Smells awful. Like something went bad.
  • The after-smell is malty.
  • After smelling a few more times, I’m convinced the average smell is “malty”.
  • As I sip, I’m getting a bit of a bitterness.
  • The aftertaste is malty.

Second Pour

I rinsed both glasses, and swapped them. Now I’m using a similarly shaped glass-mug-thing from Stuttgarter Weindorf 1999.

  • The smell is slightly undesirable. Like … meaty somehow.
  • The flavor is a clear malty winner. It’s not overt, but it’s present.

After Eating A Delicious Croissant

Same. Bottom line, the aroma leaves something to be desired, but it’s overall malty. The flavor has good maltiness, especially in the aftertaste. However, the foam and the smell after the initial pour is… not good. Just… I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s in the same category as popcorn-farts.

Alissa confirms the smell is a little off.

Krombacher

Old Man Button

Old Man Button

This beer was described by my brothers German wife as being “drunk by old men”. So. It should be good. Old men do whatever the hell they want; not because something is cool or fashionable. Sometimes they press this button while on crosswalks, to give them a little extra time to get across the street. But that’s not relevant to this discussion.

The pour is darker, like apple juice. The head lasts longer, but I think that might be a downside when pouring beers from a tap.

  • Not much maltiness at all. I get very little aroma.
  • Lightly bitter, which I suppose implies hops, though I don’t get much hop aroma.
  • I can’t find a place on my tongue on which this beer says “hello, I am beer”. Instead, it has an antisocial look on it’s face and slinks away.

Second Pour

  • The smell is a bit soapy.
  • I’m still only getting bitter flavors. And it’s a sharp bitter, not a nice hoppiness.
  • I’m struggling to come up with a good side to this beer.

After Eating A Delicious Croissant

Same. Bottom line, it’s got a boring taste, boring smell, and doesn’t really present itself very well.

However, Alissa describes it thus:

Typical German beer. Wheatey in the beginning, but bitter at the end. Soft, grain-based. Like Life cereal.

Conclusion

I would absoutly go with the Warsteiner. Less foam, more malt flavor. But Alissa’s choice was the Krombacher! And she was pretty set on it.

At the end of the day, both beers are fine. They’re both typical German beers, and I don’t really think they can go wrong here. I’m sorry to have wasted your time.