Deficient Pillows

After much testing and consideration, we’ve come to the conclusion that German pillows are just not properly designed. The first problem is that German pillows are gigantic squares, which lead to only one of two possible sleeping positions.

Deficient Pillow Size and Shape

Deficient Pillow Size and Shape

With Position A, your body is in a normal sleeping position, but your feet dangle off the end of the bed because you’ve wasted a meter of space above your head. Whereas Position B requires that you climb to the top of the pillow, and rest your body awkwardly on the entire thing. Neither are┬ádesirable.

Secondly, the stuffing is allowed to roam around freely. This creates the following example height (or firmness) map for any given day.

Height Map for Pillow

Your head will attempt to find the lowest section of pillow

Before going to bed, you have to shuffle all the padding into a uniform density. But it doesn’t really matter what you do here; by morning, your head will be in a valley.

The only way to fix this, to any reasonable degree, is to convert your German pillow to an American one.

German Pillow to American Pillow

Conversion of a German Pillow to a Faux American Pillow

This isn’t ideal, because it makes the pillow too thick. But at least now you can sleep.


2 thoughts on “Deficient Pillows

  1. Dorina says:

    Went to the Getty Museum last week, where they had an exhibit with some Louis 14 (I think) furniture. Found this huge luxurious sofa bed, like an enormous poufy futon. Lots of pillows. Guide said they used to sleep propped up, partially sitting position. (must have been good for the digestion after all that Camembert.) Maybe you could assume this posture?

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