Monthly Archives: May 2012

Fürst Wallerstein Zwickel

Fürst Wallerstein Zwickel

Fürst Wallerstein Zwickel

This one has an interesting fruitiness to it. Citrusness, as I like to call it. It’s faint, but at least it’s not totally boring.

Unfortunately, it’s not particularly good. But it’s hard to fault a beer that tastes different. The gas in this one is a bit overwhelming. I think I should have chilled this a bit.

Radeberger Pilsner

Radeberger Pilsner

Radeberger Pilsner

Well. This was a German Pilsner. It was okay.

Veltins Pilsener

Veltins Pilsener

Veltins Pilsener

Meh. Lots of meh happening here.

 

Beck’s

Beck's

Beck's

I was not expecting this to be good, so I wasn’t surprised. Overly bitter, just meh.

But I did some research because Becks just goes by one name (instead of, say Becks Lager). Is there any other beer company that does that? Anyway, I’m getting off topic. The point is, I found out that Becks owns Hasseröder! Hasseröder even produces some of Becks beer! Terrible! It’s even worse when you realize that Becks is owned by InBev (the most gigantic beer company in the world).

Well, it’s not shocking after Thomas pointed out that Hasseröder was a disgusting “TV beer”. If you missed it in the comments, you should watch the advertisement. It’s fantastic.

I’m getting off topic again. The point of this entire post is, this is not a good beer.

Also, I’m drinking a Hasseröder right now, and it’s not nearly as good as it was a couple days ago. Dang it.

Sanwald Kristall Weizen

Sanwald Kristall Weizen

Sanwald Kristall Weizen

I’ve had this beer several times now, mostly in draught form, from restaurants around town. I had this one at the zoo. Pretty good. It’s a filtered wheat beer, so it’s not cloudy. I’m not sure why they filter it.

Edit: It should be noted that this is always served with lemon in restaurants. I do not like lemon in beer, so I have to start every meal with the impolite behavior of fishing out the lemon with my fingers or a knife, and then throwing it on the ground. That’ll show them.

Stuttgart Olympics 2012

I bet you were probably wondering “Huh. Why haven’t they posted about the Stuttgart Olympics? I heard it was all the rage in Germany.” or “Didn’t the Stuttgart Olympics begin a few days ago?” Well, you’re right. The thing is, we haven’t had much time to post because we’ve been training.

That’s right. We’re in the Stuttgart Olympics this year! We both qualified (we’re in the top 1 percent, so that wasn’t a surprise), and we’ve started a rigorous training schedule. It’s not easy. But then, if it were easy, everyone would be in the Olympics.

Our sport is The Swing In The Woods Back There. A sport accepted into the Olympics back in May. You get points for every event you complete. For those of you that aren’t familiar, a description of the events follows.

Disk Swing Diagram

The Swing In The Woods Back There (source: The Official Website Of The Swing In The Woods Back There)

Events

Jump On The Swing From A High Distance

Alissa Swing Delight

Alissa. Notice the excellent form.

Informally known as the “jump-on” event, this event requires the athlete to leap onto the disk swing from one of the platforms mounted in the mountain. The mountain can be anywhere from several centimeters (high school level) to several decimeters (professional level).

Since the swing doesn’t quite reach the platforms, the challenge is to leap off the platform, free-fall through the air, and land on the swing platform as it’s swinging. It takes most contestants a few tries before they work up the courage to move up to a higher platform. It’s not uncommon to see professional athletes pee themselves.

Back-swing Kiss Without Bashing In Your Face

Informally known as “awkward flailing”, this one is one of the most challanging, since it combines the jump-on event with an additional requirement. When the swinger returns “on the backswing”, they and their partner must make contact with their lips. Nothing else may touch.

This event is typically rated much like diving or gymnastics. Points are taken off for “smearing”, which is where you get slobber all over your partners cheek. “Bashing” is when you accidentally hit them too hard, causing them to stumble on the mountain (which is considered dangerous and not romantic at all). Accuracy counts as well; too much cheek and not enough lip, is considered a “half” or a “fourth”.

This event is often rated in multiples; if the swinger can successfully kiss twice after a single jump, extra points are awarded.

Swing Flair

Alissa, adding flair to a jump-on

Running Push Event

Fast Swing

It's difficult for cameras to take photos of the event, as the athletes typically move too fast.

Fallen out of favor in the past few years, this event requires that one person swing, while the other gives them a push. This is not as easy as it sounds, since the swinger tends to move faster than an average person can sprint down the mountain. It typically results in the runner face down in the sand.

Other Events and Considerations

Naturally, the sport has evolved in some circles. The jump-on event is often garnished with trick moves, where the athlete holds onto the swing with only one leg, or swings off-center, intentionally causing dangerous rotation. This area of the sport is evolving.

The dismount is strictly judged. After every event, cleanly leaping off the swing is highly valued. Stumbling down the mountain is considered poor form.

The most typical injury comes from repeatedly bashing the seat into your crotch.

New members of the sport most often complain of “getting sand all over the living room, and how did I get sand in the bed”.

Final Thoughts

I’m sore. But that’s to be expected. You don’t compete at this level without some aches and pains. Maybe some of you can watch the event on TV and cheer us on! It’s always nice to know your loved ones are behind you. In the end, it makes all the training worthwhile.

 

Hasseröder Premium Pils

Hasseröder Premium Pils

Hasseröder Premium Pils

After all the meidocre beer I’ve tried, I’m nervous about finding a beer I really do like. What if I’m just getting use to the crap? What if I’m becoming the kind of guy that loves a boring, tasteless beer? That would be awful!

So I write this post with some hesitation.

I really liked this beer. This has replaced the Rothaus Märzen Export as my favorite. Could it be because I was really hungry at the time? Some other factor? I dunno. But I’m buying more of this. I don’t remember exactly what it tasted like, but using words like “malty toasted bread deliciousness” wouldn’t be wrong.

Also, those S’s in the name look like L’s or F’s. It took me a few tries to find it on Google.

 

Instant Soup Culture

I’ve been trying all the instant soups. Alissa doesn’t get to try any, because she’s at work and has to eat real adult lunches. I realize eating instant foods is a horrible thing to admit, but it’s easy and delicious. Plus, isn’t this a good indication of the kind of soups Germans like to eat?

Precise Drink Marking

Precise Drink Marking

The best soup so far has been the Frühlingssuppe, an herb and noodle chicken soup. Which unfortunately has peas and carrots in it. Why do Germans like peas and carrots so much?

Our apartment doesn’t have any sort of official measuring cups or graduated containers. Luckily, there’s a law that requires all vessels in which you serve liquids (beer, wine, water, juice… there are a lot of liquids), to have a volume marking. This way, you can ensure the establishment doesn’t cheat you of a few milliliters of delicious liquids. It makes for a perfect measuring device for soup, since they’re all in units of a quarter liter. This probably also means that German bachelors can minimize the amount of dishes they own.

 

Amazing Rope Swing

There’s a fairly gigantic plot of land behind our apartment, about 5 minutes walking distance. If this park were in Richmond, all the branches would be trimmed off the trees below neck height, to reduce the number of rapes. Here, it feels like I’m walking into a jungle. With nicely cared-for paths and playgrounds.

The swing was just awesome. We must have played on it for a good 30 minutes, until we were too worn out to keep going. You could jump off a pile of sand onto the swing. So much fun. And it should be noted that Alissa jumped from the highest point on the pile, and successfully swung down. Not many girls can do that.

Little Steam House Road

Little Steam House Road (that is cute and adorable)

Here’s a sign from the woods. I only include it because it has the south German diminutive “le” at the end. For those of you that hate grammar, it makes the whole word “cute, little, small, itty-bitty”. So if you want to call your sweetheart something cute and adorable, you could say “rabbitle”, or “dandelionle”. She’d like that.

 

Augustinerbräu Weissbier

Augustinerbräu Weissbier

Augustinerbräu Weissbier

This one was okay.

I was pretty sure I tried most of the beers in the area, but I found a store that had at least 8 beers I’ve never seen before. This is exhausting. It’s going to take me two years to try all this stuff.

I’m trying to be strong.